The idea of having a doula attend your birth is still a new one for most people. Friends and family members who haven't had a child (or known someone who has recently) can sometimes be a little skeptical about the word itself and what it means exactly.
If you need some help showing them how beneficial and amazing it can be to have a support person help you before, during, and after the birth just have them read this!
"What is this going to cost?!" Partners or family members can be wary of the PRICE. Doulas are an added expense during what can be a year full of lots of spending. But, many families who have had doulas can be quoted as saying, "Our doula was worth her weight in gold!"
A doula is an investment. Giving birth is an extremely momentous time for a woman and her partner and preparing is a huge part of having a positive experience. I go over many of the benefits on my website but they include: better outcomes for mom and baby, fewer interventions at birth, less postpartum depression, and better breastfeeding outcomes. You will be given the tools and support necessary to having the best birth possible. The positive effects will be felt for a long time after the birth of your baby.
My services can also be covered through private insurance as I write receipts through the ANQ, so this can drastically reduce the fee.
"If a doula is present what is MY ROLE?" This is a very common fear and it doesn't just apply to the partner. Mothers, mothers-in-law, sisters, best friends even are still a bit skeptical as to why there needs to be an additional support person.
Women don't generally choose to have doulas to replace someone else. I have worked with women who have huge families, lots of friends and sisters with children, mothers with whom they are close to and yet they still want a doula. This is usually because, I don't come with any baggage. Whatever happens during the birth is simply that- I don't read into your behaviour or your words as anything other than dealing with your birth and everything leading up to it. We can have an open dialogue and there shouldn't be any worries about what you do or say. I have pretty much seen it all!
At the same time, I don't take over anyone else's role. I am there to support the partner in whatever way they need, and can also be there to reassure family members who are waiting to hear news about the birth. I've had lots of hugs from mothers and fathers of the birthing woman and been thanked by other family members at postpartum visits for the support I provided. My role is to find the support that the couple needs and to provide that, without hindering anyone else from providing their own.
Whatever you decide you want help and support with, is what I am there to do.
 "They didn't mention this at our prenatal class!" "We've already signed up for prenatal classes and our family will be there after the baby's birth to help. Isn't this too much?"Considering how important the process is to many people, and the fact that you really can't be too well prepared, a doula is also very different than these other types of information and support. There are some great prenatal classes out there, as well as couples childbirth prep classes, that I wholeheartedly recommend that my clients attend. There is lots of great information, an opportunity to connect with other parents, and a chance to see what other people are worrying or excited about. The meetings with your doula will be more personalized, focused on the specific wishes that YOU have for your birth as well as being in a private setting where you can speak openly and really get to know the person attending your birth. Of course, all the help that you want and need after the birth is an amazing resource to have as well. Having family member or friends bringing food, or running small errands or helping around the house can make or break those first few weeks. As a birth doula I offer 1 postpartum visit and this mainly focuses on breastfeeding and discussing your feelings about the birth experience, so it is much different. I am also available by phone or e-mail for the first 6 weeks, so if there are any questions or need for referrals or resources I continue to support in that way. I think what generally wins over the unsure partner is this:Think about having that person who you know is on-call for you. When you *think* you might be in labour you know there is someone you can call to get reassurance and information. An informed person, who you have formed a relationship with during pregnancy, will be available to you when you are in labour. Someone who has listened to YOUR fears, knows all your hopes and wishes, understands you and your partner and is ready to support you in any way you need. Your doula will likely be the only familiar face you see during your labour and birth at the hospital. I can't tell you how reassured I was during my own birth to hear my doulas voice at the door when she arrived. Instantly I knew that I had someone there 100% just to support me and everyone else could go about taking care of their respective jobs. My husband could relax and enjoy the birth of our baby without worrying so much about what I needed. Anything that happened that had him worried or confused, he could turn to our doula to ask questions or be reassured. Still have questions? Send me an e-mail or give me a call!
On the heels of my doula trainer Lesley Everest's post regarding her births of 2011, I thought I'd take some time to go over the birth stats of the women I supported this year. 2011 was my first year as a doula and fresh off my training, I started accepting clients in the spring and have been on call almost constantly since. I love being a doula! It has been a wild ride of a year, from taking the step in following my passion to realizing the goal of working for myself, and doing something that makes me feel that I am making a difference. It truly feels amazing and I am so blessed that women and families have invited me into their lives, homes, and births. What a year. I am so looking forward to 2012 and all that it has to bring. I doula-ed for 13 women this year! (There was 1 more expected for 2011, but at this point it's safe to say this will be a 2012 baby!) Because this isn't a huge number, it isn't easy to make any assumptions or gather any real statistics but this is just it, my year as a doula in review: 12 were planned hospital births, 1 was a planned birthing center birth that ended in a transfer to hospital. 4 of these births were C-Sections, 1 planned for twins (second time mom), the other 3 were unexpected c-sections (all for first time moms). 2 of the 4 c-sections were induced due to post-term babies with cervidil and/or synto and turned into long and difficult labors. Both ended in c-section due to some form of fetal distress. C-Section rate of 30%, which is actually quite high. A stat that I find interesting is that 8 of the 13 women had some form of induction or synthetic augmentation of labor (Cervidil, synto, articifical rupture of membranes/water breaking). In some cases it was to begin labor, in others to keep contractions strong and close together. 6 of these women had epidurals, and 3 had c-sections. All of my clients who took an epidural also had some form of induction or augmentation of labor (before or after the epidural). 3 women had epidurals, but did not have c-sections. Of those who did have epidurals followed by c-sections almost all took the epidural as an alternative to a c-section in order for labor to progress.Epidural rate of 23%. Like most other doulas, I accept as clients those who want a natural birth, those who aren't sure, and those who know for sure they want an epidural. Many are surprised by the outcomes of their births and find that what they thought was impossible actually can be achieved and some also find that birth is full of surprises and is always keeping us on our toes. I very much agree with Lesley's take on the "natural birth" stats- as if we could fault a mother for needing a vacuum extraction or some synto to get contractions closer together and then "take away" her pride in having a natural birth. When a woman tells me she hopes for a natural birth, of course she would like to avoid any unnecessary interventions, but she is mainly referring to a non-epidural birth. Of my 13 clients 5 had natural births. Of those 5, 3 gave birth on hands and knees and the other 2 used a variety of positions during the second (pushing) stage. An interesting stat: 7 of these 13 women had NO or very minimal (1st degree) perineal tearing and NONE had episiotomies! This is wonderful to hear, as a very common fear I hear from women is how worried they are about tearing. I saw many women pushing following their own urges rather than directed pushing from hospital staff, and I also saw many doctors applying compresses or using their hands as counter pressure so as to reduce the pressure of the baby's head on the perineum. My first birth I attended this year (and ever!) was also the most medically hands off as well as very memorable. All of mom's wishes were respected, she labored in her own home made shirt with buttons sewed on for easy skin-to-skin access, there were no IV's, no managed 3rd stage, no tearing, she delivered on hands and knees, and also arrived at the hospital at 7cm- the nurses and doctors barely believed she was a first time mom! I am very much looking forward to the births I'll be attending in the next few months and here's to many more happy and healthy moms and babies!Happy New Year!
I really should add this on my website under frequently asked questions... the simple answer is- It's never too early or too late to hire a doula!
For some first time parents the questions, fears, excitement, and planning begins as soon as the pregnancy is known. I have been contacted and hired by couples as early as 7 weeks!! I think it's wonderful and sweet to meet with excited and eager couples and really, it's an honor to be part of their experience starting so soon in. I can be available by phone or usually e-mails if there are any questions that come up: What can I do for nausea? When will I start showing? What are these strange things happening to my body?
Any question that isn't a medical concern or might be embarrassing to ask a doctor- as a doula we hear it all!
Some women want to find out about how they should be preparing for the rest of their pregnancy to be as healthy and as comfortable as possible. Some want to know about what type of exercise they should be doing, or what they should be eating. It can be reassuring to know that there is someone there for the little questions, someone to recommend books or websites to help with information needed, and someone to share in the excitement as the weeks pass by.
I generally start meeting with women or couples in the second trimester. At this point the pregnancy is established, the caregiver and place of birth is generally chosen, and women tend to be thinking more about the impending birth. There's been time to process the options and usually many questions have been lingering around waiting to be asked and answered. This is also when tests, measurements, weight gain, ultrasounds and the like will begin and then the questions really start rolling in. It's nice to have some time to read some books if you're looking for some new information, to space the prenatal meetings a few weeks apart to allow for reflection and updates, and it allows us to get to know each other better.
But- remember what I mentioned before- it isn't too late if you haven't hired your doula by this time. You still have a chance to benefit from all of this, even if you're due next week! I swear.
Perhaps you didn't hear about doulas until late in pregnancy or maybe you had but thought it wasn't your thing. Maybe someone mentioned having one or knowing of one in passing, and it spiked your interest. Sometimes just one confusing or upsetting appointment with a caregiver can lead to a woman or couple feeling like they may just need that extra support. Whatever the reason, if you're a bit late to the draw, it's ok.
As a doula I have a very flexible schedule, so last minute meetings can be arranged. There's still time to spend hours getting to know your doula- talking over a cup of tea or coffee, discussing your hopes and fears for birth, explaining what type of support you're looking for, and getting those last minute important pieces of information that could potentially make all the difference during your labor and birth. It's worth it!
I will of course recommend that if you find a doula that you feel you'd like to meet with or felt like you had that great connection with, it's usually best to grab her when you can! Most doulas, myself included, will only take a certain amount of clients per month to ensure that we don't have conflicts (which can still happen- birth is SO unpredictable!) and to make sure we have time to give everyone the attention and support they deserve.
I am currently booked through the end of January.
I always offer a complimentary meeting. This is a one-on-one meeting where you can get all your questions answered about doula care, find out if our personalities match and make sure you feel comfortable with the doula you choose. Someone who makes you feel at ease, encouraged, and confident is usually the right one!
Feel free to contact me if you'd like more information or to book a free meeting.
Megan
_ In my experience working as doula with second (or more) time moms I have learned that many report having had trouble transitioning to motherhood after their first child. The experiences ranged from feeling angry at other women who had misled them, or lied to them; they were told that motherhood was going to be “the most fulfilling experience ever!” or that “you will wonder how you ever existed without your child!” to feeling sad, lonely, and yes- the word that many still refuse to acknowledge, depressed. There are definitely cases of severe Postpartum Depression, some that require therapy and medication and follow-up from a doctor. I do feel that there are also many cases of what could be called Postpartum Disappointment, where women feel like they’re failing, or not living up to the standard that they feel is being set for them by themselves and others.
It can come as a shock, the almost immediate switch from being practically without responsibility to being completely in charge of another human being. For most women in our culture pregnancy is spent searching through websites and chat groups researching all things maternity and birth related, choosing the trendiest and cutest baby products, preparing a nursery or even moving into a bigger home to accommodate the growing family. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of time spent focusing on what will actually happen once this baby arrives. Sure, for those who have never been near a baby there are the few minutes spent on baby care at some prenatal classes- showing how to bathe or change a baby, there are the warnings from friends and family about stocking up on your sleep, and getting ready to not go out on a date in a while- but is this enough? Much of the preparation is in regards to products and the emotional side of parenting is left out. There is a also huge gap in the different mind-sets out there. There are those who believe in attachment parenting: baby wearing, co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, and cloth diapering a few of the common themes surrounding this “method” of parenting. Then we have the more “traditional” (I hesitate to use that word, for lack of a better one) that believe that the way some previous generations were raised was perfect: strollers, formula for those who want to, sleep training, disposables, and less of a helicopter parenting style.There is often a lot of judgement from some who have a certain parenting style that they feel others must follow as well. I’m generalizing here, to better illustrate my point, so please don’t be offended if you choose to do some from one “category” without others or vice versa. I’m simply trying to explain that by trying to live up to or follow advice given by people who are not in our home 24/7 and who are not responsible for raising our children we just aren’t doing ourselves any service. Parenting, like in life, truly is about being authentic.
I come from a very woman centered, matriarchal family. My grandmother had 5 children; one son and four daughters, and she ruled our family for many years. She was a strong, well-spoken, extremely intelligent woman. But she was in no way soft or maternal- hell, she openly admitted to not really ever wanting to be a mother! It was just something that you did during that time. This lack of what some would call maternal instinct seems to have carried through to her daughters as well. Children in our family were very loved, of course, but we were not the center of attention. Daily lives were not altered or catered to the needs and whims of us children. I don’t wish to have had a different upbringing because I really benefited from the laissez-faire attitude my parents had. Whether it was lack of time or interest, we had very free lives (although we did grow up in a small rural town, where it was quite safe to be gone the entire day without anyone needing to know where you were). Our mothers (and now, my sister and I who are the newest generation of mothers in our family) made time for themselves, even when it seemed impossible; kept interests that didn't involve only us and did so because this is how mothering felt right for them.
I like to think of this as: Authentic Parenting or Parenting the Way that You Want To Without Giving a Damn About What Others Think.
Like most of my female relatives, I birthed my son relatively easily and naturally, and then entered into the postpartum period feeling a little, well- off. Knowing some other members of my family had encountered some issues, when the lovely haze of endorphins following my birth wore off and the weight gain circus began surrounding my 11 lb at birth son not gaining quickly enough in the week following birth- things began to get a bit hairy. There were tears, arguments, and some not-so-wonderful days as I tried to find my footing as a new mom. I hadn’t anticipated it being so difficult and it was a major shock having a newborn to care for at all times, when I’d never had anyone rely on me so much ever in my life. I quickly realised though, the more I listened to everyone else and stopped listening to my own instinct the further away I got from feeling happy and well adjusted.
I had, like most mothers, made many “plans” for the style of parenting I would take once my son arrived. I knew, for example, that I would never give a pacifier, that my son would be exclusively breastfed, he would sleep with us for as long as possible, I wouldn’t stick him in swings or baby chairs, and I would cloth diaper exclusively. What’s that saying about the best laid plans…?? Some of these have been followed through with to a T, others just didn't work out the way I had anticipated.
I realised after a few weeks that I couldn’t get more than 20 minutes of consecutive sleep with this baby in my bed. My back was cramped, my nipples were killing from bad latches at night, and I woke up every time he groaned or moved, which babies are apt to do every 3 minutes or so. At 3 weeks old my son was moved into his room in his bassinet. Mind you our rooms were about 8 feet apart and we slept with our doors open, but halleluiah! I was getting to sleep between feedings and I felt so much better about bringing him into bed with us in the early hours to finish off our nights together. This was me being authentic. Following my instincts, even if they weren’t what I had originally intended. Where I had thought myself to be a mother who could take off for a weekend at some point, the longest I've ever been away from my son so far has been while I'm attending a birth. I felt ready at 3 months to start taking a 3 hour watercolor class. Not because I loved watercolor, but because I needed somewhere quiet to go. I would leave a bottle of pumped milk with my husband and pick up a cafe au lait and a pastry and sit for 3 hours in a room of adults (!) and listen to music and paint. There were some weeks when this was a major highlight. It was my time away and I could focus on Megan as a person, instead of only Megan as a mother. I never felt guilty, I allowed myself this, because I knew it was important. I came back feeling refreshed and able to be a better mother.
I think allowing ourselves to change our minds or to alter our parenting path is a major issue for many women. We know how much pressure we place on ourselves and on each other. There is judgment surrounding every facet of pregnancy, birth, and parenting. And why? For what? We’re only doing ourselves an injustice by putting all these rules and expectations in place. It’s the same thing I tell my clients in preparation for birth- you can prepare, and know your preferences, and then from there just - let it go-! You can’t know what hand you’ll be dealt, you can only know how you’ll deal with it when the moment comes around. Go with what feels right for you. Don’t be lead by guilt or someone else’s expectations. Be flexible, and know that sometimes what comes naturally might not be what you expected.
If you have experience that you’d like to share I’d love to hear them! Was there something that surprised you about the postpartum period? In what ways do you feel you parent in an authentic way?
_ Anyone who has ever been pregnant, had a child, or is over the age of ten knows that a woman is “due” to have her baby at 40 weeks, or more commonly, 9 months. The history of calculating a woman’s due date in modern times goes back to the mid-1800s. A German obstetrician named Franz Karl Naegele devised a rule to calculate the expected date of delivery as the following: From the first day of the woman's last menstrual period (LMP) by adding 1 year, subtracting three months and adding seven days to that date. The result is approximately 280 days (40 weeks) from the LMP. The first major error with this method of calculating is that not every woman ovulates on the same day, and this rule fails to take that into account. Another method, albeit much less popular and rarely used by medical caregivers, is one called Parikh’s formula. This one does take into account the length of a woman’s cycles, therefore also taking into account possible variations in ovulation, and is written as such: adding 9 months to LMP, subtracting 21 days, then adding duration of previous cycles. This method would obviously be a more accurate way to calculate an estimated due date, but for the sake of having a standard calculation most medical providers use the same calculation for all women regardless of if the date of conception is known by the woman. These calculations place a woman’s due date at 280 days after her last menstrual period. Why all the controversy over due dates? Why not simply let women go into labour naturally when the baby and her body are ready? We know that even the Doctors who devised methods of calculating due dates used them simply as estimated delivery dates. Large studies have shown that there is a standard deviation of 13 days from the due date, meaning that 90% of women will give birth within 3 weeks of the due date - in either direction, not only earlier than but later as well. [i] In a study quoted often by Henci Goer, white women having their first babies carried, on average, 8 days past their due dates. [ii] With the research showing that women carry babies for different lengths of time depending on age, race, or number of pregnancies, among other factors, why do many caregivers insist on induction at 41 weeks- which is one day less than the average for white first time moms, or in some cases, begin planning an induction before a woman has even reached her due date? Another issue that needs to be addressed is the accuracy of due date calculation. Because of the variations in women’s cycles, and therefore the range of possible days of ovulation within even a similar cycle length, delayed ovulation can be a factor in what is thought to be a post-term pregnancy. The SOCG recommends first trimester ultrasound in order to properly date a pregnancy. Most pregnancies induced after 41+0 weeks are found not to be > 41+0 when an early ultrasound rather than LMP is used to date the pregnancy.[iii] Of course, to those who wish to avoid ultrasounds, the most precise due date is usually calculated by the woman who tracks her cycles, understands the signs of ovulation, and can therefore be most accurate in dating her own baby’s conception. Both the WHO and the ACOG define a post-dates pregnancy as one that has extended to or beyond 42 weeks (294 days). According to the ACOG the health risks for mother and baby increase as the pregnancy is prolonged. The risks of a pregnancy that passes 42 weeks can include (but are not limited to): low amniotic fluid, placental dysfunction, meconium aspiration, profound mental retardation (PMR), and stillbirth. Many of these risks have been found in studies that have not excluded high-risk pregnancies or fetuses with known congenital anomalies. In studies that excluded these risk factors, there was no increase in PMR found in post-term infants, although there is still an increased risk of stillbirth for pregnancies that are prolonged, that is, longer than 42 weeks. [iv] A homebirth doctor in Australia, Dr. John Stevenson, maintains that in 106 true post-dates babies only one baby showed distinct signs of post-maturity. [v] Conclusions can be drawn from his experience that all babies mature at different rates, just like all women enter puberty or menopause at different rates. Growth and maturity cannot be measured with an exact science at any stage of life. The likelihood, with our current medical protocols, of a woman being “allowed” to carry her baby past 42 weeks while being followed by an Obstetrician or Midwife in Quebec is unlikely. A registered midwife is required to transfer care at 42 weeks, so a woman wishing for a birth center or home birth will be forced to give birth at a hospital. A woman with a standard GP or OBGYN will, in most cases, follow her doctors orders for non-stress tests and ultrasounds, where questions may potentially be raised about the size of the baby, or the level of amniotic fluid, or worse- her own physique will be critiqued and her body deemed unable to properly deliver her baby. Many women will be faced with the decision to stay for an induction or a c-section and if they choose to leave the hospital may even be told they are putting their baby at risk of dying if they do so. What some caregivers fail to mention are the serious risks involved in an induction. We know that caesarean rates rise for induced births [vi], as well as the majority needing to be induced with chemical methods and/or by breaking the bag of waters artificially. There is a certain level of interference with the natural process of birth during an induction. Of course, there are always cases when an induction is the obvious choice and will lead to the best possible outcome. But with up to 45% of women having some method of induction introduced to their birth [vii], we know there is a misuse of this intervention. Having personally endured the countdown (my own included) of when my pregnancy would finally be over with my due date arriving and then quickly passing by without a birth being involved, I understand what many women are feeling. It’s definitely not easy to feel the rising amount of pressure on your body’s performance. Some women feel that their bodies have begun to fail them, even before they get to the starting line of labour. Others feel that they are being inconvenient or unaccommodating to the family or friends who have made themselves available for the week or so surrounding the impeding birth. Still, there are others who simply don’t want to pregnant any longer. At 41 weeks it’s much harder to be comfortable with waiting for the baby to arrive “when it’s time”. A woman who believed her due date was only a suggestion when she was 15 weeks might not be feeling the same way at this point. Women get DESPERATE. Some are willing to try anything: walking, spicy food, acupuncture, sex, herbal teas, castor oil, homeopathy, bumpy car rides, and evening primrose oil are just a few tried and true methods for a more natural induction. With the experience of one pregnancy and birth behind me, I personally plan on adding 5 days to my own calculated due date for any subsequent pregnancies. I recommend to some women to not specify the exact date they are “due” to family or friends. It can be quite stressful, without reason, for many women. The last few weeks of pregnancy should be spent enjoying the final moments before the new baby, getting a few mornings of extra sleep, putting up your feet, and going out for a date night with friends or your partner. It should NOT be about being stressed out with extra doctors appointments, or increasing the risks of interventions at a birth that may not have needed them. As with any other proposed intervention, the choice to eschew the due date or begin labour with an induction once passed a certain point of pregnancy is an individual choice. And it isn’t always as clear as some would think. Every woman deserves to make an informed choice that she can be comfortable with. [i] Bergsjø P, Denman DW 3rd, Hoffman HJ, Meirik O. (1990). "Duration of human singleton pregnancy. A population-based study.". Acta Obstet Gynecol Scand: 197–207. [ii] Mittendorf R et al. The length of uncomplicated human gestation. Obstet Gynecol 1990;75(6):929-32 [iii] http://www.sogc.org/guidelines/documents/gui214CPG0809.pdf [iv] http://www.acog.org/publications/faq/faq069.cfm [v] http://newlifebirth.com/induction.html [vi] http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/98156.php [vii] http://www.sogc.org/journalismawards/InductionOverload.pdf
The following post was written by my sister-in-law Angie. She is a baby expert if there ever was one! She served as my doula, my lactation consultant, and one of my main support people after I became a new mom. I recently asked if she would share some of her tips on breastfeeding and so, here they are: Breastfeeding Secrets…from the Lactation Consultant By: Angela Grant Buechner, BA, BScN, RN, IBCLC I am often asked what I wish every new mom could know BEFORE having their baby, to make sure breastfeeding goes well. Well, we know that breastfeeding is the best for moms and babies, yeah yeah….we’ve heard it all before... but why do some women stop so early, if it’s so great? The first few weeks of a baby’s life (while mom and baby are learning how to breastfeed) can be stressful if she doesn’t have some tricks up her sleeve for when it’s not exactly going perfectly! So, here are 5 tips that have been proven to help moms ‘hang in there’ when things are rough, or to ensure breastfeeding is not ‘wrecked’ when baby is having a bit of trouble: 1. Skin-to-skin…Never under-estimate the power of your skin! Babies transition to ‘life’ better when they are allowed to be held naked-skin-to-naked-skin, as long as possible, right after they are born. Also, if your baby is too sleepy to feed, or is having any trouble, strip that baby down (keep the diaper on!) & breastfeed while skin to skin (you’re probably half-naked while learning to breastfeed anyway…) 2. ‘Squish & Shove’ When you’re trying to get that ‘perfect latch’ we’ve all heard about, think about eating a sandwich. If you were putting a super-duper, triple decker club sandwich in your mouth, you wouldn’t try to put it in sideways! You would turn it in the right direction, squish it down as much as you could, and shove it in.With breastfeeding, it’s the same. Look which way the baby’s mouth is going (depends how you’re holding baby) and hold on to your breast (that’s your BREAST, not your nipple!!) so you can squish it down and make it a bit ‘flatter’. When the baby opens her mouth, shove her on to the breast as FAR as you can! This is the ‘magic’ trick that keeps the nipple safe & sound (and prevents all that scary nipple pain, cracking etc.)! 3. Hand Expression… If your baby is sleepy, grumpy, mucousy, stuffed up, separated from you for any reason, you are engorged, or it hurts you too much to feed - YOU have to take over! If you are ready with a ‘PLAN’ to hand express during these potentially stressful moments, then you will be able to keep breastfeeding going (and keep feeding your baby)! Watch this video to learn about Hand Expression, from Jane Morton at Stanford University. This is different than using a breast pump! http://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/HandExpression.html Often, NOTHING comes out when you use a pump, and that DOESN’T mean you ‘have no milk’… Seriously, only VERY FEW DROPS of colostrum are needed in the first few days, so if the baby can’t get it out for some reason, YOU can express these drops, & feed it to the baby with a medicine cup or spoon, and try all over again at the next feed! 4. Compressions & Cues If baby is able to breastfeed ‘ok’…keep going! Try not to limit how often or much the baby sucks in the first few weeks (watch your baby’s ‘cues’, not the clock, since the baby’s feeding frequency is what tells your body how much milk to make!)… after all, the baby doesn’t know that you were trying to have a shower or eat dinner! To keep the baby ‘drinking’ and not just sucking, try squeezing your breast while baby is sucking (for the count of 3), so more milk comes out. This is called ‘Breast Compression’ and is very good when baby is sleepy while feeding, or slowing down at the end of a feed. 5. ‘Stuff’ & stories… Avoid soothers, nipples, bottles (try a cup or spoon if necessary) for the first MONTH! These things won’t help your baby learn to breastfeed, and may instead ‘mess with’ your milk supply. Also, be careful of other things that can interfere with normal breastfeeding (‘feeding’ apps, books trying to ‘make’ your baby do anything!, or having formula at home ‘just in case’…) If ‘Supplements’ are recommended, use BREASTMILK! You can breastfeed (or try) every 2-3 hours, but if you express your own milk (or colostrum) after each feed, then you can use THAT to feed to baby! If you ‘miss’ a feeding for any reason, express so your breasts still get the stimulation they need to keep producing milk! Also, try not to listen to the people who tell you that ‘your baby shouldn’t need to eat yet’, ‘you don’t have enough milk’, or that their baby ‘sleeps through the night’ at 2 weeks old. Find someone who will support your efforts instead, and can help you make a plan! If you need help, find a CERTIFIED Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) as soon as possible. Issues can often be ‘fixed’ easily in the first few days, but can pose more of a challenge after a few weeks. Quote of the day: ‘ Don’t quit on your worst day!” Hang in there, and commit to making it through to the ‘other side’!!! Angela Grant Buechner is a mom of two exclusively breastfed girls, is a NICU Lactation Consultant & runs Nutmeg Consulting; a private Doula/Lactation Consultant business in Toronto, Canada.
Coming home from the hospital or birthing center with a new baby can be slightly overwhelming. Especially for a first time mom. First, you make sure baby is properly strapped into the car seat, you adjust and readjust everything a few times to make sure it's tight but not too tight and then you take the most nerve-wracking drive home, even it's just 5 minutes, it feels like the most treacherous drive EVER. And yes- it's normal to sit in the backseat.
You finally arrive home, get baby out of the car and walk into your house, for the first time as either a new family or with a new addition. These are the top 5 things you will probably want or need most:
1) Yummy food and beverages- quick. You have probably spent the last 2 days (or more) eating food you aren't crazy about, or wishing for something yummy and homemade. You should arrange to have made meals in advance or set yourself up with a group of well wishers who bring food to you- fresh, daily! (More about that in an upcoming post) This way, whoever is there with you; husband, mom, sister, etc can pop something into the oven, or make you a fresh meal with something nice to drink, like an herbal tea or a smoothie.
2) A shower! You will probably be so happy to see a bathroom with your products and towels, it can be a great relaxing moment to have a nice hot shower before settling in with your new baby. Someone should be there to hold the baby, (this is when they could also be making you tea!) and to lay out a fresh outfit for you to hang out in. You'll want something comfortable, like yoga clothes or even flannel PJ's. You'll still be looking pregnant and will be bleeding and possibly be in some discomfort, so you won't be hopping back into your skinny jeans - so sorry to burst your bubble.
3) Before you hop into that bed, fresh sheets! A nurse friend of mine is adamant about having fresh sheets on her own bed at least once a week (be honest now, most of us don't) and she makes a point of changing her patients sheets to make sure they feel clean and comfortable. We all know how nice it feels to climb into a soft clean bed. (This type of thing could be done by your post-partum doula, your mother or whoever is around to help out)
4)Peace and quiet- yes we know everyone is excited to see the baby and hear about the birth and take pictures and bring gifts. That can WAIT! A new family, and especially a woman who has just given birth, need time to decompress, relax and enjoy some quiet bonding time. The first few days fly by, and it's so important that space is given. (Visitor- If you are bringing food, you're the exception, but please just drop it off and don't expect to hold the baby. He or she will probably be breastfeeding or sleeping in Mom's arms)
5) Someone to talk to. Yes I know what #4 said, but something so important, especially in those first few weeks is for someone to just listen. Giving birth is not some small insignificant thing in a woman's life. There is much to discuss, many feelings to can come up, and the one thing every single mom needs is someone she can unload on. Breastfeeding difficulties, birth trauma, stitches, sleeplessness, baby blues- these are all things that can be overwhelming for you after having a baby and knowing someone is there to say "it's going to be ok. You're doing an amazing job." can really change the way things look. On the other hand, sometimes you will just want to spend hours rehashing every moment of the labor and birth and the amazing feeling you get looking at your new baby. Working as a doula I get to hear all of these stories, the good, the bad, the sad, the amazed, the proud- it's all part of the process.
These aren't the only things you (or the new mom in your life) might need- but it's quite basic. Some pampering, some rest, some reassurance, and some help around the house.
I recommend to my clients that they line up some support for after the baby is born. I don't mean, "oh, we have tons of friends who can't wait to come over and see the baby, I'm sure they'll know not to stay too long". Most new moms need some help with housework, some meal preparation to make sure they are eating and drinking enough, someone to help with diaper changes and to hold the baby while they shower or have a nap. It can be so beneficial to the new family, so they can rest and bond, and it makes the transition to parenthood so much smoother.
Thanks for reading, Megan
Since becoming a doula I have been very privileged to see amazing births where mom and her partner were so connected and unbelievably in sync, I couldn't resist writing something to highlight the benefits of having a partner's support at the birth.
First a brief history- Men have not always been seen as or expected to be integral members of the birth support team. In some societies and cultures they are still not present during labor or at the time of birth. The difference in these cases is that these women are generally very well supported by female relatives, local midwives or traditional birth attendants. In our current birthing culture, women are separated from their usual support system, most of their family members have not attended or seen any births other than the delivery of their own children, and almost all babies are born in the hospital.
In the 1970's men started demanding to be present in the birthing room, instead of being placed in the waiting room while their wives gave birth. There was suddenly lots of pressure on a husband to be The Birth Coach. To be the unwavering, strong and supportive person for the laboring woman. This is a tremendous amount of pressure to put on anyone- but especially someone who has probably NEVER witnessed a birth, has surely NEVER given birth, and has probably has NO experience with birth at all. So, the husbands made it into the room- but, once they got there- what exactly were they supposed to be doing?!?
This is a really common question that I'm asked by couples and is one of the main reasons, I think, women want to hire a doula.They want and need the support of their partner, but neither one knows how their partner can be helpful. Seeing eager faces looking for suggestions and tips on how to help their partner is one of the perks of being a doula. Often the dads seem to have more questions and are so willing and excited to be supporting their partner for the birth of their baby.
The partner needs just as much encouragement and information as the mom. The main thing I focus on is to offer the partner different techniques for massage, encouraging words to say during labor, positions to help support mom and simply empowering them to feel they will be able to lovingly and confidently support their laboring partner.
There is still, after educating the partner on how to best support mom, a lot of pressure placed on this role. Not every person is comfortable to massage, may not feel they know what to say or do in the moment, and sometimes the length of labor or the actual reality of having their loved one in pain and not being able to "make it better" can be overwhelming. This is where having a doula can be so helpful. Sometimes, a small suggestion can change the course of a labor, and the couple will find their groove and start sailing through the contractions together. Other times, just giving dad a rest and getting him a snack can give him the time and energy he needs to continue supporting his partner.
In my experience as a doula so far, some of my fondest memories have been moments where partners have really connected and you can see they are truly working together to get their baby born. At a birth I attended recently, mom was having trouble coping with her very strong contractions during transition and was becoming slightly panicky. She really needed to focus on her breath, but at the same time needed strong hands to massage her back. Dad sat very close, they stared into each others' eyes, breathing through each contraction while I rhythmically rubbed mom's back. This was exactly what she needed to relax and soon after was 10cm dilated!
I've also seen partners lean in very close and quietly speak to each other, with dads offering encouragement and loving words to help mom relax and rest. Another time a partner vocalized with mom through all her contractions. It helped him feel that he was taking an active role and being helpful and he later told me that he wanted to make sure his wife didn't feel embarrassed to be loud during her contractions.
In each scenario the partner is doing what comes naturally. Not something that has been preplanned or written out as an expectation of him in advance. You can't plan how a birth will go. Just as women can't predict the positions they will assume in labor, the sounds they will make while giving birth, or the possible roadblocks thrown at them during their pregnancy or birth- partners cannot plan out how they will act or react to labor. The best they can do is prepare, think about hiring a support person to help with suggestions and to offer a second set of hands, and -most importantly- go into the place of birth with love and support for their powerful birthing partner.
Let me just start this post by saying baby wearing saved my sanity during the first few months after having my son. Being able to put my son in his carrier and head out for a walk in the evenings, or when I couldn't put him down for a nap, or if I wanted to run some errands or even get things done around the house- having a baby-carrier was an absolute must for me. I think the same thing can be said for many mothers (and fathers too!). The benefits are many and the huge variety of baby-wearing options out there means that pretty much anyone who wants to find a carrier for their baby can find the one that's right for them. Even if you're not sure you're the baby-wearing type, or maybe it's never crossed your mind to wear your baby, trust me- once you find a good one you are converted for life.
As we all know, babies love to be close to mom and/or dad. The warmth of our bodies, our heartbeat next to theirs- babies simply know from the start that being close to their parents is where they belong. It's a continuation of how they felt being in the womb. Snuggled, warm, and the movements that they feel being carried around are exactly the same as those they felt while being waddled around by mom for 9 months. Historically speaking, baby wearing has been around for as long as we have been bipeds (walking on 2 legs, as opposed to 4), because for as long as we have been carrying babies in our arms there has been a need to have a hands-free option. Many sling-type carriers look almost exactly how original baby-wearing options would have looked- a long piece of fabric fashioned to be worn tied around the shoulders, waist and/or back so baby is securely and snugly carried. In some cultures women wear their babies almost the entire day as they are working, walking, socializing etc. For something to withstand generations of parenting without much change to the original prototype means they got something right pretty early on, I would say.
Numerous studies have been done showing the benefits on baby-wearing; some have shown that babies who are carried for minimum 2 hours a day cry over 50% less during the fussy evening hours than those who are not carried. Um- yes please! I don't know of any new mom who would turn down the possibility of a quieter evening with a newborn. Babies can be placed skin-to skin in a sling or wrap against mom or dads chest and instantly feel calm, relaxed and generally will be asleep within a few minutes. They really are the equivalent of a sleeping pill for babies.
The benefits carry on long after the newborn phase as well. There are certain baby-carriers that can be used up to or even over 40 lbs! (We'll get into the options a little later on.) Going for a hike? No need for a huge bulky all-terrain stroller. Want to go shopping somewhere with tons of stairs or sub-basement shops with no access? We've all been there before, but haha! Those of us who carry our babies just take the stairs and are SO glad we brought the carrier. Ever been to crowded outdoor concert or fair? Baby wearing means you don't need to maneuver your stroller through the crowds of people or get stuck on wires or roll over peoples' toes.(Although, strollers can totally come in handy in many different situations as well!) Sometimes kids just like to be carried. And who can blame them? I'd love to be carried around some days, able to sleep when I feel like it, enjoy the scenery from a comfy little spot next to someone I love. Studies have shown that children will have a more secure attachment to their caregivers if they've been carried during the first 3 months of life and that mothers tend to be more responsive to their child's needs if they are a baby-wearing mom. Research has also shown that "sling babies", as Dr.Sears calls them, show more enhanced visual and auditory alertness. This is because baby spends more time in a quiet alert state. There are many more studies that show babies who are worn are more attentive and can learn more as they are more "involved" in what the carrying parent is doing.
Whatever the reason for choosing baby-wearing, there are definitely a myriad of benefits which can be seen and not heard(!) literally minutes after baby is put into a sling or carrier. And who doesn't like smelling the top of a baby's head? No really. That smell should be bottled.
Here are some different types of carriers. There is a carrier out there for everyone, I promise. This is definitely not an exhaustive list, by the way, just an overview of what's out there.
Sling- Generally a piece of fabric sewn into a tubular shape, worn around the shoulder, baby is placed into the hammock area. Great for smaller babies and very comfy- you can also nurse while carrying!
The photo below shows a ring sling, basically the same idea, except the fabric is sewn into a ring on one end and the other end wraps into the ring to tighten the fabric. Cozy!
Wraps- Wraps are great because they can be worn by many different members of the family and no adjustment is needed because the wrap is tied on each time by the person carrying the baby and you don't need to buy a specific size. The fabric is generally stretchy and soft and there are many different ways to tie the fabric so baby can be worn in a variety of positions (back, front, hip, facing out, facing in, etc) Newborns heads can be safely held by the fabric and again, nursing in public can be discreetly done if you want while carrying baby in the wrap.
Soft Structured Carriers- These look similar to a mei-tai type carrier but use buckles to attach the carrier. This limits the variety of ways you can carry baby (generally just front facing in, or on your back facing in) but women love these carriers! Most have a pocket to carry extra stuff, a sleep/sun hood and toddler foot rests. I myself have loved my Ergo carrier for months. No back pain from carrying around 20+ lbs and because you use buckles to attach baby in there is no loosening of fabric at all.
Mei-tai- This is similar to the carrier shown above, but doesn't use buckles to attach baby in, instead there are ties (mei-tai- similar to Me Tie? Hmm.....sorry, lame joke). Some women find this to be their favorite carrier because you have the same support as a soft structured carrier but the ability to adjust the straps and tie the carrier in different ways for your comfort.
So there you have it. My take on baby wearing, the benefits along with a little intro for those of you who haven't heard of or seen many different types of carriers. There are so many brands on the market, with so many great designs it's hard to choose just one. Most women don't. :) As your baby's needs change so will your carrier. A newborn will generally not be carried the same way as a toddler, and every baby is different. Like I said, once you find a good one you are a baby-wearing convert for life!
And for kicks and to show you all that dads can babywear as well, here's a shot of a great dad I know (wink, wink) carrying a sweet sleeping baby:
Anything to add? Got a great carrier people should know about? Any questions about babywearing? Feel free to post a comment!
And, as always, thanks for reading,
Megan
Dylan’s Birth Story- June 1st, 2011
Today my baby turns 1. One. A whole year I have been a mother. This may not seem like much to some of you, those who have been mothers for decades, or raised 3 or 4 or 8 children even. But becoming a mother is definitely the most life changing experience, rather, right of passage I have ever been through. There were some days that my patience and belief in myself was so strained and I thought surely this was some test I would have to explain the results of later in life. The sleep deprivation, oh how I missed my sleep some days!, coupled with handling new tasks every moment, of being responsible for a small human carrying my genes, my smile and quite possibly- my stubbornness- was often too much to handle. And then there were days of waking up to snuggle in bed with a smiling little body crawling over me, and watching this little person experience new tastes and sights and sounds, while at the same time – needing me. Needing ME to comfort and reassure and encourage, there is no other feeling like it. Seeing a pair of beautiful blue eyes that look just like his fathers, looking up with so much unconditional love is what makes this ride so, so SO worthwhile.
Here is Dylan’s Birth Day Story.
Everyone is told as a first time mother, “Don’t tell anyone your due date! Lie and say it’s a week later, that way people won’t be calling you, harassing you about the baby.” You are expected to be late, your doctor or midwife will probably even tell you, as mine did, that they don’t expect first time mothers to be in labour until around 41 weeks. And they will be probably be right, while you'll expect to give birth 3 weeks earlier...
I was huffing and puffing my way around Montreal in the middle of a seriously hot month of May and boy, was I ready to give birth. My official due date was Sunday, May 23rd but I knew to expect a late baby and based on MY dates I figured at least 5 days later was my actual due date. So, the 23rd came and went as we all expected it would and I continued walking around in my long blue flowery dress, the only piece of clothing I had that still fit. Sort of. The room was ready, clothes folded, cloth diapers placed in piles waiting to be peed and pooped in. I was raring to go.
I had a midwife appointment scheduled for Friday the 28th and when I went in my midwife confirmed that I was 3 cm dilated and my cervix was fully ripe. If baby wasn’t born before Monday I was to go to the hospital for an ultrasound and non-stress test to check up on the baby, which is standard practice for all past dates babies, she said. But, because of how things were looking she told me she expected to hear from me that weekend. We had big smiles as I left and I practically skipped home. The baby was coming! My husband had a few work commitments that weekend, but I told him to go ahead as he wouldn’t be too far from home and if needed he could be back within 15 minutes. Of course, wouldn’t you know- I was still pregnant come Monday morning. Womp womp. I sulkily got myself dressed and my husband and I headed over to the hospital for the NST. Things looked great when we got there, I pushed the button when baby kicked and the nurse, a lovely older lady, said our baby seemed great in there. I wasn’t having any contractions; he really did not want to go anywhere. Great news! Healthy baby, I was doing well- everything you would wish for. But with an induction looming over my head for Friday though, this was not exactly the news I wanted to hear. We headed over for an ultrasound and after the technician checked her measurements she got up and advised us that she had to go get a doctor to double check her work because the baby seemed to be measuring 10 lbs 4 oz. (Quick background- my sister has delivered 2 babies- first one was 10 lbs 5 oz and the second at 9 lbs 12oz. My mother’s 3 babies were all over 8 lbs. So this didn’t come as a shock, or worry me much. We tend to have larger than average babies in our family.) The doctor double-checked and yep- there was a 10 lb baby in my belly. I was then advised of all the dangers of trying for a vaginal birth, as I was with midwives this was my plan-obviously, the doctor also tried to scare me with “your baby’s shoulder could get stuck and you could cause your baby to have permanent damage.” Hmmm, wonderful- thanks Doc!
Because I was so dead-set on having the birth that I wanted I really did not want to hear the fear tactics the doctor was trying to sell. This may have persuaded another woman to check herself in for the c-section that THEY ADVISED I SCHEDULE! But, not me. No way. Obviously, it is recommended to at least consider your doctor’s recommendations, but I wanted to hear what my midwife thought. So- off to the midwife we went. She then confirmed some of these facts and said, that yes- I would be scheduled for an induction on Friday because if I went longer I could no longer be followed by the midwives. It would be at the hospital or at home unassisted at that point . She suggested a few homeopathic remedies, a good walk, some sex, and to relax a bit.
Well, this seemed to be the end of my thoroughly planned out, envisioned so many times I could almost see it in front of me birth- but now it was slipping away. I know now that holding on to such expectations is dangerous. To fixate on a certain image of how birth will go, each movement, the steps it will take to unfold, can create disappointment if it doesn’t follow the “plan”. To this day, I thank my lucky stars things went they way they did, mostly because I still don’t know how I would have gotten over it.
That evening I followed each step the midwife advised. We stomped around Westmount Park, we made love, I took the homeopathic pills, moaned on the phone to my mother and sister and then finally, settled onto the couch and accepted my fate. Induction on Friday. Fine. So be it. I guess. *&%^%$$@^!!!!!
Around 2 am (we were night owls at the time because of ours jobs and of course, NOT HAVING ANY KIDS YET!) I turned off the horrible movie I was watching and got ready for bed. I’d been feeling crampy but figured it was because of the stretch and sweep the midwife had done that day to help get things moving. I lay down, asked my husband to rub my back and drifted off to sleep. Or so I thought! Probably 10 seconds after I closed my eyes I felt a pop! And then a gush of liquid between my legs. HUH? Did I just pee? This, of course, is exactly what I said to hubby, who in turn replied “No, Megan. Your water broke.” AHHHH! But, but, but I was supposed to be induced on Friday?! This was, of course, in the back of my head. I’m seriously in labour, after all that, now I’m in labour?? It was like I needed to have my plans pulled away from me, for me to accept that things could go differently, to then be given them right back and be told- get ready! Here we go!
Now, most labours, probably 85-90%, do not begin with a dramatic movie-style gush of water. Another thing all first time mothers are told. Generally, waters will get broken by a doctor or will break naturally later on in labour. So, there I was like a chicken running around with it’s head cut off, grabbing towels, laying down, getting up, running to the bathroom at 2 am. Just 12 hours after my midwife appointment. I literally was in shock. We called our doula first, my sister-in-law, who lives in Toronto. She had checked all travel schedules in order to take the fastest way to get to us. She packed her bag and headed for the airport. I had a few contractions, like strong menstrual cramps, within the next 30 minutes. At 2:30 am we called our midwife who was just finishing up a very fast birth across town. She said she would head over to the Maison de Naissance and that we should call her in an hour and let her know how things were going. At this point, I was on the toilet, moaning, rocking, and my body was “preparing for birth” in many ways, shall we say. Just great. I felt like crap. I was not expecting half an hour of labour to feel like this. Was I really that weak? What about my birth CD? How would I have time to burn the songs onto a disc feeling like this? Sh*t. I had a strong urge to vomit and after I finished doing that I said to my husband, I don’t think we should wait for an hour to go by. We need to call the midwife now! I wanna go now! Once she heard it was Peter on the phone and not me, she knew things were really cooking. She said she’d meet us outside the birth center in about 20 minutes. I managed to do one thing between each contraction. Put on my flowery blue dress. Contraction. Scream at Pete to pack the camera. Contraction. Waddle to the car. Contraction. When we finally arrived I remember looking at the clock in the car. 4:08am. If I was still 3 cm dilated after all this, I was going to cry. When we unloaded the car and got to the stairs outside our midwife was waiting for us. She laughed as I knelt on the stairs having a contraction and said, “You wanted labour, honey. You got it.” I managed a small laugh and she helped me to my room. I was checked and told I was 6 cm. Hurray! I wasn’t faking it after all! Pretty soon after the bath was filled. I had chosen the room with a nice big tub, knowing that that’s where I liked to hang out whenever I was sick or in pain. As soon as I climbed in I proclaimed to my husband “Wow, all of a sudden it’s like I’m on a Club Med vacation!” The jets bubbling, the juice being offered to my mouth with a straw, it was heaven! For about 5 minutes. Then labour was back in full force and I spent the next 4 hours in the tub. I didn’t really want anyone talking to me; I would shush Pete if he tried to whisper in my ear. I was completely focused on my thoughts. I visualised moments where I felt free, riding my bike as a child, or times when I felt powerful and in control. That helped me to focus and to remind myself that I had been through so much to get myself there and I could do this. It was mind over matter at that point.
Because they knew the baby was going to be quite large, the midwives didn’t want me to deliver in the water. They wanted to see everything that was happening and make sure they could assist in case any part of the baby got stuck on the way out. I chose a moment to climb out onto the bed and began feeling the need to push. This went on for quite some time, but I never once looked at the clock after seeing it in the car at 4:08, so I had no clue how long I had been doing this. I noticed the sun come up while I was in the tub so I knew it was early morning when I began pushing. I tried a few different positions; squatting (I totally suck at that), on the birthing stool, on my side, but ultimately the best for me was completely flat on my back. Odd, yes, as most women are fighting to avoid that position, but I was so tired and able to rest so well in between contractions that way. My doula and husband each rubbed one of my legs and I could talk in between contractions, stopping to push whenever I felt the need. After a while, someone told me the baby’s head was there. Everyone was very excited and told me to touch the head. I expected an entire head, but all I felt was a sliver. Not as motivating as I expected it to be. But, still I kept going even though I thought surely I wouldn’t be able to push one more time. Finally, one more push and Dylan’s head came out. Sweet relief! The room seemed to fill with more energy then as everyone made sure that the rest of him came out as easily. The midwife assisted in getting his shoulders out and someone cried out, “Take your baby!” I made a feeble attempt to reach for him, but it seemed like 4 sets of hands placed him onto my belly. He was HUGE. It was like the blue ribbon fish at the Annual Great Lakes fishing contest had been plopped onto my belly. I couldn’t believe this was my baby! I started laughing, and then crying, and then laughing again. I couldn’t believe I had done it, and at the same time I was so happy to be done with all the pushing. It was over, he was here and he was all ours.
After a few minutes I asked what time it was. I was so confused; it could have been 5 pm for all I knew. “He was born at 10:00 exactly”, someone said. 8 hours? From start to finish my first baby was born in 8 hours!? In a funny way, I felt like an even bigger superhero than I did before. They attempted to weigh him after we’d had an hour or so of cuddling and some breastfeeding, but he was too big for the traditional midwife scale. They brought him to the scale they use to weigh older babies and he weighed in at 11lbs 2oz and was 22 inches long.
I had some tearing that needed to be stitched up, but I was so pumped full of hormones I felt like I could have done it all over again. I called my mother, who was fully expecting to hear me moaning about still being pregnant, to tell her while she was sleeping her 3rd grandchild had been born. My husband called his father to tell him that his first grandson had been born and on his 70th birthday to boot.
What an amazing morning that was. I was treated so well at the birthing center, everyone was so lovely. All of the people there who helped welcome Dylan: my doula Angie, my husband Peter, the great midwives, a midwifery student and the aide-natal made it so wonderful. I was fed French toast, fresh fruit and juice for breakfast and we got to lie around all day enjoying the huge, yet tiny and fragile boy we had created. What an amazing way to welcome our baby into the world.
Dylan: You literally light up my heart. You have made me into a more passionate person. You’ve taught me to be kinder, gentler and given me a new sense of wonder about the world. We love you Little Dill.
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