The idea of having a doula attend your birth is still a new one for most people. Friends and family members who haven't had a child (or known someone who has recently) can sometimes be a little skeptical about the word itself and what it means exactly.
If you need some help showing them how beneficial and amazing it can be to have a support person help you before, during, and after the birth just have them read this!
"What is this going to cost?!" Partners or family members can be wary of the PRICE. Doulas are an added expense during what can be a year full of lots of spending. But, many families who have had doulas can be quoted as saying, "Our doula was worth her weight in gold!"
A doula is an investment. Giving birth is an extremely momentous time for a woman and her partner and preparing is a huge part of having a positive experience. I go over many of the benefits on my website but they include: better outcomes for mom and baby, fewer interventions at birth, less postpartum depression, and better breastfeeding outcomes. You will be given the tools and support necessary to having the best birth possible. The positive effects will be felt for a long time after the birth of your baby.
My services can also be covered through private insurance as I write receipts through the ANQ, so this can drastically reduce the fee.
"If a doula is present what is MY ROLE?" This is a very common fear and it doesn't just apply to the partner. Mothers, mothers-in-law, sisters, best friends even are still a bit skeptical as to why there needs to be an additional support person.
Women don't generally choose to have doulas to replace someone else. I have worked with women who have huge families, lots of friends and sisters with children, mothers with whom they are close to and yet they still want a doula. This is usually because, I don't come with any baggage. Whatever happens during the birth is simply that- I don't read into your behaviour or your words as anything other than dealing with your birth and everything leading up to it. We can have an open dialogue and there shouldn't be any worries about what you do or say. I have pretty much seen it all!
At the same time, I don't take over anyone else's role. I am there to support the partner in whatever way they need, and can also be there to reassure family members who are waiting to hear news about the birth. I've had lots of hugs from mothers and fathers of the birthing woman and been thanked by other family members at postpartum visits for the support I provided. My role is to find the support that the couple needs and to provide that, without hindering anyone else from providing their own.
Whatever you decide you want help and support with, is what I am there to do.
If you need some help showing them how beneficial and amazing it can be to have a support person help you before, during, and after the birth just have them read this!
"What is this going to cost?!" Partners or family members can be wary of the PRICE. Doulas are an added expense during what can be a year full of lots of spending. But, many families who have had doulas can be quoted as saying, "Our doula was worth her weight in gold!"
A doula is an investment. Giving birth is an extremely momentous time for a woman and her partner and preparing is a huge part of having a positive experience. I go over many of the benefits on my website but they include: better outcomes for mom and baby, fewer interventions at birth, less postpartum depression, and better breastfeeding outcomes. You will be given the tools and support necessary to having the best birth possible. The positive effects will be felt for a long time after the birth of your baby.
My services can also be covered through private insurance as I write receipts through the ANQ, so this can drastically reduce the fee.
"If a doula is present what is MY ROLE?" This is a very common fear and it doesn't just apply to the partner. Mothers, mothers-in-law, sisters, best friends even are still a bit skeptical as to why there needs to be an additional support person.
Women don't generally choose to have doulas to replace someone else. I have worked with women who have huge families, lots of friends and sisters with children, mothers with whom they are close to and yet they still want a doula. This is usually because, I don't come with any baggage. Whatever happens during the birth is simply that- I don't read into your behaviour or your words as anything other than dealing with your birth and everything leading up to it. We can have an open dialogue and there shouldn't be any worries about what you do or say. I have pretty much seen it all!
At the same time, I don't take over anyone else's role. I am there to support the partner in whatever way they need, and can also be there to reassure family members who are waiting to hear news about the birth. I've had lots of hugs from mothers and fathers of the birthing woman and been thanked by other family members at postpartum visits for the support I provided. My role is to find the support that the couple needs and to provide that, without hindering anyone else from providing their own.
Whatever you decide you want help and support with, is what I am there to do.
"They didn't mention this at our prenatal class!"
"We've already signed up for prenatal classes and our family will be there after the baby's birth to help. Isn't this too much?"
Considering how important the process is to many people, and the fact that you really can't be too well prepared, a doula is also very different than these other types of information and support.
There are some great prenatal classes out there, as well as couples childbirth prep classes, that I wholeheartedly recommend that my clients attend. There is lots of great information, an opportunity to connect with other parents, and a chance to see what other people are worrying or excited about.
The meetings with your doula will be more personalized, focused on the specific wishes that YOU have for your birth as well as being in a private setting where you can speak openly and really get to know the person attending your birth.
Of course, all the help that you want and need after the birth is an amazing resource to have as well. Having family member or friends bringing food, or running small errands or helping around the house can make or break those first few weeks.
As a birth doula I offer 1 postpartum visit and this mainly focuses on breastfeeding and discussing your feelings about the birth experience, so it is much different. I am also available by phone or e-mail for the first 6 weeks, so if there are any questions or need for referrals or resources I continue to support in that way.
I think what generally wins over the unsure partner is this:
Think about having that person who you know is on-call for you. When you *think* you might be in labour you know there is someone you can call to get reassurance and information. An informed person, who you have formed a relationship with during pregnancy, will be available to you when you are in labour. Someone who has listened to YOUR fears, knows all your hopes and wishes, understands you and your partner and is ready to support you in any way you need. Your doula will likely be the only familiar face you see during your labour and birth at the hospital. I can't tell you how reassured I was during my own birth to hear my doulas voice at the door when she arrived. Instantly I knew that I had someone there 100% just to support me and everyone else could go about taking care of their respective jobs. My husband could relax and enjoy the birth of our baby without worrying so much about what I needed. Anything that happened that had him worried or confused, he could turn to our doula to ask questions or be reassured.
Still have questions? Send me an e-mail or give me a call!
Considering how important the process is to many people, and the fact that you really can't be too well prepared, a doula is also very different than these other types of information and support.
There are some great prenatal classes out there, as well as couples childbirth prep classes, that I wholeheartedly recommend that my clients attend. There is lots of great information, an opportunity to connect with other parents, and a chance to see what other people are worrying or excited about.
The meetings with your doula will be more personalized, focused on the specific wishes that YOU have for your birth as well as being in a private setting where you can speak openly and really get to know the person attending your birth.
Of course, all the help that you want and need after the birth is an amazing resource to have as well. Having family member or friends bringing food, or running small errands or helping around the house can make or break those first few weeks.
As a birth doula I offer 1 postpartum visit and this mainly focuses on breastfeeding and discussing your feelings about the birth experience, so it is much different. I am also available by phone or e-mail for the first 6 weeks, so if there are any questions or need for referrals or resources I continue to support in that way.
I think what generally wins over the unsure partner is this:
Think about having that person who you know is on-call for you. When you *think* you might be in labour you know there is someone you can call to get reassurance and information. An informed person, who you have formed a relationship with during pregnancy, will be available to you when you are in labour. Someone who has listened to YOUR fears, knows all your hopes and wishes, understands you and your partner and is ready to support you in any way you need. Your doula will likely be the only familiar face you see during your labour and birth at the hospital. I can't tell you how reassured I was during my own birth to hear my doulas voice at the door when she arrived. Instantly I knew that I had someone there 100% just to support me and everyone else could go about taking care of their respective jobs. My husband could relax and enjoy the birth of our baby without worrying so much about what I needed. Anything that happened that had him worried or confused, he could turn to our doula to ask questions or be reassured.
Still have questions? Send me an e-mail or give me a call!
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